your parents love me but you hate me
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
