if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
