i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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