Life is so much better after having sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
