I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
