Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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