since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
