you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
