Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
