shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
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i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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