Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
