we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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