Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
