I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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