just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
