I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
