oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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