i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
