Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize