Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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