i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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