Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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