GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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