you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
