He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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