You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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