I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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