Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
false alarm, still single
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