And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize