Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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