somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
