do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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