woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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