ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
