I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
