Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
