Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
