are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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