i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
