oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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