Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
