You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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