I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
