I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
