i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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