Yo dont text me then not text me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
