So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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