It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
