Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
