Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
