I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
