That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
