I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
