I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize