i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
