As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
