i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
my liver is dry heaving
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
