This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
